Politeness doesn’t come automatically—it’s something we all learn through modeling, practice, and patience.
For autistic children, understanding how and why we use polite language can be tricky. A simple request like “Can I have that?” might feel totally natural to them, while phrases like “May I please…” or “Could I borrow…” seem unnecessary or confusing.
That’s why we created the
Asking Politely lesson inside Autism Learning Worlds—to teach kids what polite communication looks like, why it matters, and how it helps build positive relationships.
Polite communication is more than just good manners—it’s a foundation for social success.
When children learn how to ask politely, they’re also practicing:
- Perspective-taking: understanding how others feel when asked respectfully
- Tone and body language: noticing how voice and posture affect communication
- Emotional regulation: pausing before speaking and using calm words
These are lifelong skills that help kids express needs, make friends, and navigate both school and community spaces with confidence.
Start by modeling real-life examples:
“Can I have that?” → “May I please have that?”
“I want a turn.” → “Could I have a turn when you’re done?”
Explain what changes between the two phrases. One demands; the other requests. You can even role-play as a class or with a partner: one student asks politely, and the other practices responding positively.
This helps make the link between respectful language and positive outcomes—kids quickly learn that polite requests often get better responses!
Inside our Asking Politely course, kids follow short, animated examples of everyday situations—like asking for help, joining a game, or requesting a turn.
Then, they complete a short quiz to reinforce understanding, seeing visual feedback for correct and incorrect responses. This builds confidence through repetition and helps polite phrasing become automatic.
When you notice a student forgetting to use polite words, gently model the phrase back instead of correcting with “Say please!”
For example:
“Oh, you’d like some markers? You can say, ‘May I please have the markers?’”
This approach keeps communication positive and natural, reinforcing skills through gentle repetition instead of pressure.
Learning to ask politely helps autistic kids communicate their needs clearly and respectfully—while strengthening self-advocacy and social understanding.
With visuals, modeling, and patient practice, students can learn to use kind words that open doors to connection.
✨ Try our
Asking Politely lesson inside Autism Learning Worlds and help your learners practice positive communication—one request at a time.
